On the Nurturing Potential of Black Lesbian Relationships

For anyone who knows me — and quite a few people who don’t (thanks to this essay I recently published about the whole sorry mess) — it’s no secret that I have made some really awful decisions with regard to my love life. To be specific, it is widely known that for a significant period of time I dated and lusted after white women who could be described, quite frankly, as ‘the worst.’ I misguidedly and self-destructively sought acceptance and worth in the arms of whiteness, as though it could strengthen my sense of self and firmly place me in the box marked ‘validated.’ Luckily for me, there was light at the end of the ‘internalised racism/reverence of white girls’ tunnel and now I’m firmly of the belief that dating another Black woman is the best thing a queer Black girl can do for herself. I really believe that even if you happen to live around the most switched on and knowledgable white women in the world — who take the time to make themselves aware of the way that racism operates — and consistently and quietly tackle it in their everyday lives, you should still date a Black woman.

Making a conscious decision to save your affections and attention for Black women instead of pouring it into white women is radical. It shouldn’t be, but it is. Because who is there for lesbian and bisexual Black women aside from others just like us? Who will affirm and nourish us and see us in our entirety instead of fetishizing us and reducing us to our bodies?

Read more- http://www.forharriet.com/2015/07/on-nurturing-potential-of-black-lesbian.html#ixzz3gMQtBtD5